work

Yesterday, Amado was playing with a meghaphone toy thing that belongs to his cousin. He loves those things.

Pretty soon, he started chanting, "Si Se Puede!"

Then he turned to me and informed me "si se puede es mi trabajo".

I wanted a girl…

When I was pregnant, I hoped I would have a girl. I wasn't distraught at the thought of having a boy, I just felt so much more comfortable with the idea of having a girl. I know girls- most of my friends are girls, Im a girl, my sister is a girl. You know. But everyone took one look at my belly, and informed me I was having a boy. So I was expecting a boy, but deep inside was hoping that my belly shape was throwing everyone off and that there was actually a girl cooking in there.

When Amado was born, I didn't give it another thought. After 41 hours of labor, I was happy to have him out. And he wasn't completely well, had to spend his first 5 days in the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit, so I was focused on him being healthy enough to come home.

But now, looking back at this all, its interesting to reflect on the fact that even with all my gender analysis, with my belief that we socialize kids based on our own gender roles, I still wanted a "girl". I think a lot of progressive and radical people do this. I had an idea of what a girl is and I wanted that.

Often, when mamas like me reflect back on that journey, they end up in the place of being happy with their boys because they bring out a new part of them, that girl wouldn't have. Watching garbage trucks and digging with a tonka tractor in the yard is pretty cool. But even still in this, a lot of us continue to keep those gender expectations in place. If I had a girl, she wouldn't be into garbage trucks. He likes the tonka tractor because he's a boy.

What Amado is teaching me is that we gotta redefine what a "boy" is. Because I know Amado pretty well. And I don't think he is the anomaly, I think this is what a boy is. Boys are loving. Boys like to cuddle. Boys like to dress up like bumble bees. Boys like shiny glittery beads and handbags that match. Boys love to cook. Boys are enthusiastic about helping with the laundry. Boys love to grab their own brooms and sweep next to you. Boys beam when you notice they are working hard. Boys love play kitchens. Boys like to cuddle with dolls. Boys love to read.

Some of us are happy with our boys, but still pine for a girl. Im not. Im happy being the mama of a boy. Im proud to be the mama of a boy. I love being a mama to a boy.

lovely boy

I havent written mch in awhile because Ive been busy writing stuff for school. This wont be long, but I figured it was worth sharing.

This morning, when we woke up (Jason was out of town so Amado and I slept together), Amado said "Buenos Dias, Mami!" I was trying to squeeze a little more sleep out of him, trying to coax him back into laying down. I patted the bed next to me, he laid his little body and head down, and I though "alright!".

His face was a few inches from mine, and he put his warm hand on my cheek. "Te quiero mucho, Mami."

I smiled at him, with my eyes still closed. "Gracias! Te quiero mucho, mijo. Te quiero con todo mi corazon."

Then he said, "Gracias por mi vida, mami."

this is not "not Katrina"

I've gotten several emails in the past few days from progressives and comrades, comparing the treatment of the San Diego evacuated residents to the residents of the Gulf Coast during Hurricane Katrina. People have seen the news reports of clowns entertaining evacuated kids at Qualcomm stadium and people serving themselves from buffet lines. Did the families of Katrina deserve this? Absolutely. Were they abandoned by the government because they are Black and poor? Absolutely. I feel the comparasin to Katrina. No doubt the government left the people of the Gulf Coast to fend for themselves and that was absolutely and explicitly racist.

But, I think lots of the comparasins about whats happening in San Diego is a little too simplistic. Yeah, some rich white people lost their homes. But painting the picture as they didnt take care of the Katrina victims because they are Black but they are taking care of the San Diego victims because they are white is too simplistic.

One of the fires is burning at the border. There are tons of Mexicano immigrants and Chicanos in those areas. Some of them are undocumented migrant workers who live in the flammable canyons because they dont have homes. ICE is checking to see if evacuees at the stadium have papers (http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2007/10/24/18455816.php) and is facilitating deportations for anyone who can't produce the right documents. Undocumented people who live in shacks in canyons are not getting evacuation notices. Some of them are staying put because they fear what will happen if they show up at the stadium and are questioned by ICE agents carrying machine guns. They uncovered the bodies of 4 immigrants in a burnt house yesterday. They were scared to leave and died, waiting.

The Union-Tribune has been running stories about undocumented immigrants stealing supplies from the stadium, only to have it come out later that they were invited to take these supplies as they returned home. This is a clear parallel to the stories that ran about Black residents of New Orleans "looting" while white residents "found".
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There are lots of low-income people of color who are also being abandoned in San Diego, left to burn in canyons or left to find their own way out.

Its consistent with what happened in New Orleans, not opposed to it. I think we gotta make these links.

photo caption:

David Bacon/New America Media

Indigenous Mixtec and Zapotec farm workers from Oaxaca, Mexico, live in a camp on a hillside outside Delmar, Calif. Relief efforts have missed undocumented workers living along San Diego's hillsides and canyons, New America Media reported. A lack of translators caused other problems.

baby nuala tiene dos mamis!

Rory watched Amado last night while I was at a meeting and Jason was in class. When we were getting his shoes on, and I was talking him through what was going to happen, I took the opportunity to do some preschool-level political education.

We have talked about this before, but you can't repeat it enough.

So I said, "Amado, tu sabes, que? Baby Nuala tiene dos mamis. Una mami se llama Tyger y la otra mami se llama..." (I left the space for him to fill in the blank).

"Rory!" he yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

"Si! Ella tiene dos mamis!" I said.

"Si! Baby Nuala tiene dos mamis! Muy bien, baby Nuala!" he yelled.

I explained that it was great for her (to a toddler, mamis are awesome. two mamis? who can beat that?!) but that it is not actually something she did, that she has two mamis because they love each other, and they also love her.

"Que divertido!" he yelled.

sopipalos

Yesterday, we were in a Friday evening mood, tired from the week, tired from being sick, and nobody wanted to cook. We decided to go get something out.

We were all in the car together, and as Jason started the conversation about where to go, Amado yelled out something from the backseat and then collapsed in a fit of giggles. It all happened so fast neither of us caught it.

"Dime otra vez, mijo" I told him.
He could hardly get it out, because he was laughing so hard.
All that was intelligible was "sopipalos".
"Otra vez?" we asked, laughing also. Not because we actually got it but because Amado was really almost in tears because he was laughing so hard. By that time, we realized it was a joke but hadn't caught it yet.
Giggling the whole time, Amado choked out, "Vamos a un restaraunte que se llama 'Sopipalos' para comer!"
He basically was like, what would be a funny thing to eat. Sopa de palos. What would a restaraunt that sold a sopa de palos be called?
Sopipalos!
I think he's right.

todavio necesito crecer

Someone dropped a car engine on the side of our house thursday night. Public works was here on Friday to pick it up. They came with a huge back hoe (is that how you spell it?).

This was a big event in our house. Amado loves construction vehicles, and having one 20 feet from his window was like a dream come true. We were all perched in the window, watching this go down, being late for work, sharing in Amado's enthusiasm.

The guy driving the back hoe had to wait for the guy with the pick up truck so he couold dump this huge peice of metal inside of it. While he waited, and we perched, he pulled out his morning snack. It was coffee and a cupcake.

Most of you know the love Amado has of pastelitos and whafe. Right on par with construction vehicles. Top. He couldnt believe his eyes, this kid. Not only did this guy get to drive this machine (Amado calls them all "tractores") but he got to eat a pastelito and drink whafe while doing it!

Later on, Amado told us, "Yo voy a trabajar como el. You voy a trabajar con un tractor, y voy a comer pastelitos y tomar whafe. Pero todavia necesito crecer."